InsaneJournal

----

Heavy breathing. Drops of sweat rolled down the side of his forehead. He tried to raise his hand by gathering his strength, but there was none. He looked at the white ceiling, out of the window, all around him and once more found his dislike in hospitals.

His vision started to blur again and he closed his eyes. People had tried to heal him, but it would not work. This was something his body should take care of: an ordinary sickness for Luther Lansfeld, but he had been sick for almost a week now so he was behind work.

----

He had a dream that seemed so real. Somebody adorned in all leather white had come to him; he had the greenest eyes and the kindest smile. Luther reached out, blindly and felt the soft locks of blue and the white feathers of wings.

Are you an angel? Luther wanted to ask, wrapping his arms all around the gorgeous creature.

But the being vanished in his arms and he was forced to wake up. There was the ceiling, the thin white sheets and the window again. Alone, alone-- only his sister had visited him. He looked at his hands and flexed them. He’d make that dream come true, he swore he would.

----

“You’re just a figment of my imagination, aren’t you?” Luther inquired as he crossed the vast spans of white clouds in order to be near to his angel. The green-eyed angel glanced at him with a brief smile on his face.

“If you want,” the angel said and shrugged.

“So what if I want you to be real,” Luther wondered, “you wouldn’t be in my dreams, would you?”

“I guess,” the angel said and shrugged again. “Anything you want,” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around Luther, “can be yours, my dear Owner.”

Anything I want? Luther thought, I like the sound of that.

----

His vision was a little clearer than the usual. Blair was standing by him, staring at him in pity. He frowned slightly; he didn’t want pity. He wanted concern at least.

He could only get that from one person.

Of course, the person was really his imagination, but the bond he had formed with the creature in his seemingly endless dreams had given him hope, and that was more than enough to conquer the sickness he had.

----

He walked around the sanctuary, trying to look for his angel. Time passed. All he saw around him was white. He stopped in the midst of it and looked down, shoulders slumping. His angel was no where to be found. Where could the creature be?

It felt strange. Without him, what was this place?

Nothing. This place is nothing.

He closed his eyes in the dream and in reality, tried to think and conjure an image of him. If the angel truly was part of his dreams, then shouldn’t it show up? He thought and pondered and wondered, which resulted into him having a piercing headache.

He opened his eyes. Everything was the same.

There wasn’t a difference in dreams and reality.

----

Blair had told him that she was glad he was better. Luther had merely acknowledged that with a nod and returned to work. It had taken him a while to catch up, but the work had given him something to think about, something to distract him from his true dilemma.

His angel, his green-eyed angel.

For a long time, he wondered whether the angel was real. He certainly didn’t believe in religion or even God, an ironic position of him since he was the Creator of the Eternal Sphere.

But he couldn’t even manipulate his own dreams to see him. That was his first clue that maybe, there was more to this creature than he thought. But he figured, if that was true, then who was trying to take advantage of his sickness? What if he was being paranoid? Could he only be visited by the angel if he was sick?

Why did you leave?

Too many unanswered questions and so little answers.

----

There was only one way to see his angel again.

He looked at the glittering screen of the main computer and let his fingers do the work with the codes. Image after image of boys looking like the one he had dreamt about popped up, but none of them came close to his angel.

His fingers stopped and he sighed in frustration.

This was ridiculous. He was obsessing over something that wasn’t even real.

But he was trying to make this real; that was his greatest problem. How could he do that with his dexterous skills?

He slammed his hands on the keyboard. How could he capture that perfection?

He was an artist, trying to capture the unattainable.

He was the Creator, trying to create something that was even better than his other projects.

He was already pushed to his limits.

A tired sigh. He had to keep going.

----

Another exhausting day this was. He took off his white gloves and washed his face with the water. After wiping it off with a small towel, he looked at the mirror, at his reflection.

If he was going to create this creature, he needed the right components. He had already tried to draw it, which didn’t work. He had tried to find models who might have looked like the angel, but that had failed too.

He narrowed his eyes and glared at himself; as he looked closely at his reflection, there was something strangely odd about it. If he could relax himself a little more, then he wouldn’t be so stressed, so burdened by his job. If he could achieve that, then he would look like the--

He gasped in shock.

No, it couldn’t be.

He slid his gloves on and touched the surface of the cold mirror. He could turn those blond locks to blue, those blue eyes to green and that perpetual frown into a beautiful smile.

He smiled in pain. His angel had betrayed him.

----

Delusional, Blair had told him, he was becoming delusional. They had asked if he was sick again. He had told all of his subordinates and the doctors to shut the hell up before he’d do something drastic that probably fitted their definition of clinical insanity.

Whatever. He didn’t care about them. He wanted to work, so he did. He wanted to make his dreams come true, so he would. He had used himself as the model and had changed everything that needed to be changed. Now he was standing in the middle of his Workspace and right across from him was the very person he had wanted all along.

“So we meet again,” Luther said with a wistful smile, walking towards the hologram. Dream and reality had become one, so every feature of the hologram was exactly like the angel in his dreams. The only real difference, if he could even call it that between himself and the angel, were the arrangement of locks and the expressions.

The hologram stared blankly at him. There was no shine in those dead green eyes and the bizarre smile on the hologram’s face reminded him of a child’s doll.

No, Luther thought, you’re more than a doll. He stood in front of the hologram and raised his hand, as though to touch, but he knew his hand would only pass through it. I’ll give you flesh and blood. I’ll make you real. This would be his greatest project, his greatest creation.

He will be perfect.

----

Luther watched in the shadows as his angel blended with the other programs in the Eternal Sphere. He watched as his angel blossomed into a young man that reminded him of his sweet, sweet dreams.

Of course, there were other times he would take a break from the Eternal Sphere, especially with the startling errors it had recently, but most of the time, he was dedicated and devoted to his work.

And then, he realized that something was wrong, very wrong.

It had started with those strange errors, little bugs and inconsistencies with the Eternal Sphere. He wasn’t prepared for the sequence of events for his angel. His other self had been dropped into another world, had been entrusted with a responsibility that was too burdensome.

And still, he was watching, sometimes in shock, horror and disgust as to how his programs could actually think they could advance like his people and be equal to them. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. But it made twisted sense that his angel would be the one to bring them salvation since his name was Fayt Leingod.

But he’s my Fayt, he thought possessively. I created him.

And those programs, those dysfunctional, treacherous programs had taken advantage that Fayt was different from them. No matter. He would crush them all in the end and he didn’t have to use himself.

He would use the very weapon they had turned against him.

A cruel smile curled upon his lips.

When he had brought Fayt into the Eternal Sphere, he already knew that Fayt would not be accepted by the others. Before Fayt was let loose, he had given him a gift that the programs had tried to exploit:

The power of Destruction.

And it was only a matter of time before they would all meet again. A part of him couldn’t wait.

----

“Do you remember me?”

The Workspace was deadly quiet.

Blair glanced at Luther, then at Fayt and his friends. She bit her lip and glanced back at Luther again with a panic-stricken face. “That wouldn’t work, Luther,” she said. “He’s not the--”

“Silence,” Luther commanded, directing a threatening glare at her. There was a flash of his spear and already Blair was retreating. The sharp point of his weapon could probably cut her into pieces.

“Do you remember me?” Luther inquired again, with a fond smile on his tired face. “Of course, it seems forever since we have seen each other. Nonetheless, we have already met.”

Fayt blinked at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Luther chuckled wearingly. “Now is not the time to be playing games, dear angel. I know what I’ve seen, what I want, and I intend to have it.” With the wave of his spear, time froze. He crossed the room and took Fayt into his arms. Fayt struggled, but Blair could see that he wasn’t trying very hard.

What was going on?

“I don’t believe in the concept of souls,” Luther whispered. Blair could barely hear him. “If I were, then I would have to believe that there is a God that is higher than me.” He chuckled again. “But should I believe for my sake? To prove that you are real?”

Silence.

Blair wished she could move so she could tell her brother that what he had seen in his dreams couldn’t be reality. She watched in shocked silence, looking at the other people who had been frozen. She could see the confusion in their eyes. She glanced at her brother and the Savior again. How would this ever turn out?

“I’m sorry, my dear Owner,” Fayt whispered, “I can only remember you, if you give me a reason to.” He pulled away from the Creator, his form glowing with a bright light.

Luther frowned darkly, but kept his stance. “So you’re going to betray me again?” He shook his head in exhaustion. “What will it take for you to at least admit the truth?”

“What will it take?” Fayt inquired with a strange teasing smile on his lips. “If you let me do what I’m supposed to do, then maybe…” He gestured at his friends, his fallen companions.

“So be it,” Luther murmured, closing his eyes. Another wave of his weapon and everything was moving again. Blair watched in the sidelines as Luther purposely lost and vanished from the Eternal Sphere.

----

“Why did you betray me?” Luther inquired, breathing the sweet scent of his angel’s blue hair. This was better than his dreams, since he had the real angel in his arms. Fayt was so warm, so full of life. He let his fingers sink into that soft blue hair and caressed his wings, causing the angel to shiver.

“I didn’t,” Fayt murmured, tilting his head. They faced each other, God and his Angel, but sometimes Luther had to worry whether Fayt truly belonged to him. He had only acted as the messenger, as the inspired artist to bring him into life. “I had to leave because my job was done, being the angel of Fate and Destiny.”

“What are you saying?” Luther questioned, gripping his angel a bit tighter. No, he wouldn’t let him go. He had waited too long, had watched too long. “Have we all been played? Is that your real purpose, to use us all as pawns in a chess board?”

Fayt sighed sadly. “Yes, and even if you try to escape it, it would just twist itself back to capture you.” Fayt sighed again, returning the embrace. They stayed like that for a long time, in the stillness of the Workspace. All of Fayt’s companions had already went home and while Luther could tell that they had wanted an explanation for Fayt’s strange behavior, Fayt had never clarified to them about it.

Luther laughed bitterly. “Are we fated to meet then? Do the dreams signify that?” He felt Fayt nod his head; Luther wanted to ask whether Fayt would leave again because he realized now that not only didn’t Fayt belong in the Eternal Sphere, he also didn’t belong in the 4D universe. “What would I have to do to keep you?” He knew he had sounded desperate, even when they had fought in the final battle, but he would do whatever it took to get what he wanted.

“There is only one way for us to be together,” Fayt whispered. He shifted and they faced each other again, looking at each other’s eyes. “That is, if that’s what you wish. If you play your role,” a pause; Luther frowned, “then that’s how it can happen.” Another pause and he leaned into Luther, pressing his mouth against Luther's before whispering, “So know your place, Lucifer.”

----

Blair watched them from afar. As the days passed, she noticed that there was a darkness around Luther, as though he was possessed, that she hadn’t seen before. Not only that, Luther barely came out of the Workspace and had only spent time with Fayt. She wondered if she had underestimated the so-called hero, because he had never acted so differently compared to how he was supposed to act in the Eternal Sphere. 

And then, she remembered that Fayt Leingod was nothing like the other programs Luther had created. He was a separate entity, a special project in Luther’s eyes maybe, but it didn’t explain his grand attachment to this angel. It didn’t explain the strange control Fayt had on him. She wanted to confront Fayt about it and so she would.

She made her way to the Eternal Sphere and entered the Workspace. Luther and Fayt were sitting in the midst of the ticking machines and the shining stars of the blackness all around them. The strangeness of their position was how Luther was resting his head against Fayt’s shoulder, his eyes closed, and Fayt’s brilliant wings were out, curled around them protectively. The dark aura Blair had sensed around Luther was back again, contrasting the golden glow of Fayt’s.

“He’s tired,” Fayt murmured, looking at Blair with a beautiful smile on his face. His hand trailed down Luther’s shoulder, slipping into the Owner’s gloved hand. “He always seems to be tired. He’s probably tired of being the villain.” He laughed so softly, so richly; it once again conflicted with his supposedly developed personality from the Eternal Sphere.

This Fayt was entirely different; too graceful, too seductive, too tempting and probably too dangerous. Had they all been fooled by him?

“Well,” Fayt continued on, still staring at Blair, “we have to go.” Blair gasped as another transformation took place; his wings and clothes turned into pure black. His emerald eyes had that same glow, but his teasing smile finally revealed just who he truly was and why he had come to Luther in his dreams and now in reality.

“You are not one of God‘s angels,” Blair whispered in shock. “You’re one of the fallen--”

“It makes sense, doesn’t it?” Fayt interrupted with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “My friends rebelling against their God, I having these wings…” he murmured, and Blair wanted to intrude and protect her brother because this creature was going to take him away. “And while I have been named as Fayt, people seem to miss the darker connotations of it.” Black magic circled around them and Luther was still asleep. “But I’m not so much of what I’m named. I am what I do.”

The Fallen Angel of Destruction…

Blair stepped back as Fayt spread his black wings. The floor began crack, splitting into pieces. She watched, stunned as Fayt rose into the air with Luther in his arms and then Fayt stared down at her, emerald eyes now cold and hard as steel.

“Luther!” Blair shouted, reaching out her hand, as though that would ever save her brother from his impending fate. “Wake up!” It was no use; his eyes were still closed, a peaceful smile on his lips. Was he truly happy with this fallen angel? “Give my brother back!”

“No. He’s no longer your brother,” Fayt said calmly. “He doesn’t fit the description of the Creator. He is who he is, of what he does…”

“Lucifer?!” Blair choked out, falling to her knees. It couldn't be true, but it was as the darkness around Luther merged into him, his clothes turning black like Fayt's. He finally opened his eyes, still the color of blue, but there was a reddish tint around his pupils, signifying perhaps the evil in him. A portal emerged out of nothing and consumed the two dark creatures, leaving Blair alone.

They were gone. Blair couldn’t believe she didn’t do anything to save her brother. What was she going to do with the Eternal Sphere? What would she tell Fayt’s baffled companions and the coworkers of the Sphere Company?

I have to take his place…