InsaneJournal

- I -

There is a saying that when one is insane, he or she will never know of it-- at least consciously. Even in the highly advanced universe of the 4D, there is a difference between how one is insane and how one is clinically insane. Insanity would be to isolate oneself from the collective and be an individual. Insanity would be to blend with the collective, following what they do, feel and think.

Luther Lansfeld tries to be neither; he is neither the individual nor one of the collective. He is the Owner of the Sphere Company, the leader of the collective; he is not the individual in that he has to think of how the work of others will affect the process in creating and maintaining the Eternal Sphere. So perhaps, he isn’t so much neither; he is of both.

Or maybe, the definition of insanity is subjective.

The theory is tested as he immerses himself deeper and deeper into the Eternal Sphere. He watches as it grows and twists into something that is probably beyond him.

He tries to keep it in what he envisions in his mind, a simple paradise that is free from the tediousness and the apathy of the 4D space. He sends his Proclaimers, his Enforcers and his Convictors, but those mere pieces of data break through them all.

He wonders where he has gone wrong with the codes as he spends an immense amount of time in his own world, losing himself in more ways than one. Frustration builds upon him and it only worsens as he learns more of those beings who want to confront him. How can mere pieces of data assume themselves to be equal to the people of the 4D space?

Just the thought of it infuriates him!

And like everything else he has created, he begins to hate them because they are not perfect. They are not obedient; they are flawed, which means he is flawed despite all the experience he has had in this world.

As the final battle begins, he is running out of options. He is suddenly cornered, pushed into the edge and in just a few moments, he is defeated by his own creations.

“This makes no sense... How could this happen to me? How could I be surpassed by my own creations?” he wonders out loud, and then he feels it, all the tension, the frustration, the anger and the hatred coursing through him as he comes up with a final solution.

In their eyes, he is insane.

In his madness, it makes sense to delete and destroy everything. It will be better to start over, to correct his failures and his mistakes. He will never allow them to have a sense or even an illusion of having a free-will. He is their Creator, he is the Owner; it only makes sense for them to follow and submit to his will.

Apparently, they do not think so.

As he falls for the final time, he once again wonders why.

Darkness consumes him and every part of himself vanishes like the pieces of data that has created the Eternal Sphere. He knows then that he truly has lost his mind because his mind is here while his physical body is somewhere else.

Light comes forth as the surroundings around him morph into what seems to be his dreams. It is in this state of mind that he truly knows that he is insane, because he is dead and yet he is not.

He is frozen in time.

- I -

The hospital room is quiet.

Blair is quiet.

Fayt glances at her and sighs. “How long has he been in the comatose state?”

“Approximately a month,” Blair murmurs. “I doubt that he’ll ever wake up.”

Fayt frowns and leans over, looking at the Creator thoughtfully. The blond breathes softly, his chest rising up then down. Fayt reaches out, pushing the soft golden locks away from his seemingly peaceful face.

And in that moment, his eyes snap open, revealing a brilliant shade of blue.

- End? -

A/n: … wtf.

There ya go, a product of my impending insanity.

This ficlet might or might not be subjected to revision, editing, etc, depending on how I feel about it and whether it has potential, etc. Right now, it is merely what it is, probably a rough draft or just me channeling my emotions through writing.